A team’s ability to thrive and achieve its goals relies on the 1:1 relationships within the group being healthy. When relationships are difficult, we often tend to avoid or work around them, which can create awkward dynamics and an ‘elephant in the room’.
The U-Q tool focuses your awareness on the relationship with each colleague and them on you. This sets up a great conversation to release new energy for you both and the team. Regular U-Q conversations build and maintain productive, enjoyable working relationships.
But the conversations can still feel scary at times. Here are a few tips once you and your colleague have both completed your online U-Qs.
- Find a private space with the possibility to take extra time if needed. Agree to keep the conversation confidential.
- It makes a big difference to have a positive approach to the relationship and an intention to really listen. You are both serving the best interests of the whole team.
- Negotiate a simple process upfront that structures the time so that it is balanced between both of you, such as:
Similar to a Me-Q, take turns to talk about how you are and how you feel about meeting one another and your U-Q test scores.
Position difficult issues using the +EBI approach (‘+’ Positives, ‘EBI’ Even Better If). Negative judgements can be positioned as a puzzle and complaints are more effective as specific factual observation, followed by a recommendation for change.
The opportunity to share new information about you, professionally or personally. Your hopes and fears can often be powerful insights to build bridges and understanding between you.
It is really important to confirm what you each have heard from the other and the actions agreed. Plan a follow up conversation.
At the end of the meeting, it can be useful share your individually reflections on how the session went and how you are leaving the meeting.